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Press Interview with Jon Olsen by Eric Campos on Film Threat 8/26/03 Jon Olsen has discovered the key for guaranteed laughter. You see, rape isn't funny. But if you have Sasquatch as the rapist...let the laughs begin. This leads me to think that perhaps adding the Squatch to any situation or task, completely devoid of any humor, would make it funny. Sasquatch going through chemotherapy. Sasquatch standing in line at the welfare office. Sasquatch getting injured in a ten car pile-up. Sasquatch doing taxes. Hmmm...it just might work. It certainly did for Jon Olsen in the first ever rape comedy Ape Canyon... more Review by Eric Campos 4/29/03 It’s the best damn Sasquatch movie ever made! We open up on a young woman, alone in the woods, hanging out in her tent reading a teenybopper magazine. She’s suddenly interrupted by a fearsome howl and then we see him – what’s supposed to be Sasquatch in this movie is actually one of the flimsiest, rattiest gorilla suits you’ve ever seen. But this doesn’t stop the young woman from being scared shitless as Sasquatch tries to claw his way into her tent…with his rubber gorilla gloves. She manages to break free and runs through the woods as if the Squatch were hot on her tail. He isn’t of course. He’s gotten himself entangled in the tent, flailing about like a retarded baby. But, only a moment later, he’s upon our damsel in distress and proceeds to rape her, with her jeans on even. We’ll just imagine that the Squatch has a dick almighty that can rip through denim like a beaver through a box of crackers… more
Review by Joe Bob Briggs 3/21/03 After 35 years of Bigfoot movies, my favorite to this day is still "The Legend of Boggy Creek," the docudrama based on the Fouke Monster from the swamps and bogs of southwestern Arkansas. The people in Fouke, Ark., who had seen the monster in real life, were used as the actors in the movie, with amazing midnight-movie cult-film results. Jon Olsen of San Francisco apparently didn't get the memo about the era of the Sasquatch movie being past its heyday, so he took cameras into the wilds of the Armstrong State Preserve in Humboldt County, Calif., to do the first Bigfoot Love Story or, uh, Bigfoot Sexual Assault Story... more
Interview with Jon
Olsen RAPE ISN'T FUNNY - Except when Bigfoot's Doing It An interview with JON OLSEN, director of Ape Canyon
Thursday, March 6 The New and Improved Axis of Evil™, Part 0 of -18 1) North Korea Iraq and Iran have been knocked off the list, as quite honestly, their Power Ranking is very low and they just haven't been performing on the level that analysts had once claimed. North Korea has launched itself into the number one position by repeatedly displaying signs of outright insanity and suffering from Goofy Mouth Syndrome in worldwide newscasts. Two up and coming sensations have aggressively moved in to overtake the number two and three slots, marking the first time that the Axis of Evil ™ has had a majority of rookies. Michael Jackson has been scaring the world shitless for over a decade now, and many industry insiders previously suggested Jackson would have his time to "shine in the light" this year. Bigfoot wasn't originally considered to be a viable candidate for a top three ranking, but he got a powerful push when I recently received a pre-screening VHS copy of the movie "Ape Canyon: The Story of Bigfoot, North America's Greatest Lover." To be honest, I don't think anybody could've predicted the Sasquatch's sudden rise to power, but this movie shattered all expectations and helped fuel its joyride to position number three on the updated Axis of Evil ™ rankings. Let's now take a look at these three superpowers...more |
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